Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Proper Application of the Horns

Lately I have noted, with great alarm, the indiscriminate frequency with which people throw the horns in public. Traditionally the horns were only appropriate at heavy metal and - to a lesser extent - punk concerts. Today you can see people flashing the horns at hip hop shows, pansy rock bands and (shudder) country music.

In an effort to bring some dignity back to this greatly misunderstood gesture, here follows a guide to the usage of the horns in everyday situations.

Appropriate:

implode

Inappropriate:

pope

Appropriate:

F14

Inappropriate:

ballet

Appropriate:

VE

Inappropriate:

bris

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.