Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Great Conversation Starter

In order to complete this project you will need:

1) A Dirty Car
You do not necessarily need to own the car in question, you just need to have physical access to it. In fact, many of you may ultimately prefer to use a car that you do not own.

2) A Finger

This should probably belong to you.

Write the following on a surface of the dirty car:


The car pictured above belongs to my friend Jon. After I took the liberty of decorating it we encountered a delightful variety of reactions:

A bunch of kids walked by with their parents. The kids read the words out loud as they passed by and said "I don't get it." Their parents, on the other hand, almost fell over laughing.

We walked out of a grocery store to find two large bikers dressed all in studded leather and their old lady (also dressed in studded leather) laughing over the car.

Biker (pointing and laughing): "That's frickin' hilarious, man."

Jon (scrambling for his keys): "Umm. Yes. Thank you."

The next day at work Jon even found a response written underneath:

"She is with me."

Sadly, the car received a long overdue washing before this brilliant rejoinder could be immortalized on film.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Loss of a Legend

The Fifth Column is deeply saddened to have to report the passing of a great freedom fighter and champion of progress: Mario's beloved Chinese fighting fish, Bebe Boi (also known as "The Red One").

Bebe was only a year old but his career - improbably - spanned decades. Like many Chinese fighting fish he was drawn to idealistic causes early in life, fighting alongside the French resistance in Nazi-occupied Europe:


Even so, he was never one to hold a grudge. Many years later he played a pivotal role in the fall of the Berlin wall and the reunification of East and West Germany:


His proudest accomplishment, however, was his return to his ancestral China where he participated in the democratic protests of Tiananmen Square:


Bebe was quietly honored today in a private ceremony, as per his instructions: