Thursday, May 11, 2006

Got bums? Get Bum Off™!

Let's face it, one of the most serious issues facing affluent retail property owners today is unsavory homeless people loitering around, driving down property values. That and those pesky minorities who are always trying to get a job.

But not anymore! Rich White Guy Corp. is proud to introduce Bum Off™, the world's first aerosel transient removal system. Simply spray the product on the offending vagrant and POOF! - no more ugly eye sores.

Just look at these extraordinary before and after photos:

Before Bum Off™:

Bum On

After Bum Off™:

Bum Off

Notice how no money buckets (aka "consumers") have been harmed during the application of Bum Off™ - in fact, they haven't even noticed that anything untoward has happened!

If you own property, you can't afford to have your lovely neon and pastel exteriors blighted by unsightly lower-no-income citizens. Don't delay ... get Bum Off™ today!

Bum Off™ has not been approved for use outside a combat zone by the FDA. In fact, when we applied for testing they asked us "You made a spray that does what?!" For the love of God, do not use Bum Off™ near anybody important. It may cause blindness, impotency and death, all at the same time. Rich White Guy Corp. is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Bush Administration.